Tonight, I Almost Flew
I realize I haven’t posted – I mean really posted in a while. There are a number of reasons for this and I don’t intend to get into any of them tonight. Tonight I have a totally different impetus for posting. The reasons for this will probably seem flimsy and foolish to everyone else, but even if no one else gets anything out of this, hopefully I will.
I intend to be very frank in this posting. I think the moment necessitates it, and I feel like I need something to shake me out of the rut I’m in, both in the real world and with regards to my blog. If near-live-blogging what just happened can help, so be it. Be warned: below the cut are heretofore unmined levels of at-the-moment, from-the-cuff honesty. There is absolutely no shame in not wanting this from me.
If I am to be entirely honest (and I believe that is the point of at least this post, if not this whole blog): this will involve elements that I would not have revealed in the real world.
Go forth at your own risk/ Here there be dragons:
Here we go.
Tonight, I was drinking more than usual. Most nights, at most I’ll have a beer with dinner (and often not even that). Tonight, for whatever reason, I decided to keep going.
I had three or four beers during dinner or after. That ran me out of beer, so I progressed to Jack and Coke (with a splash of herbal liqueur). For whatever reason, I kept drinking and dicking around the internet past 2am (the point at which I usually call it quits, if not much earlier).
At about 2:10am something outside of my usual experience happened:
The power went out.
My first concern was whether I had paid the electric bill. I thought I was close enough to up to date, but when all power ceases in your apartment, certain panic modes activate. I called ComEd and was unable to find any sufficient answer. After two or three trips through the automate system, I actually opened the front door to my apartment and realized that the light I’d seen under the door was only the emergency lights. Power in my entire building (and, as I would later find, my entire block) was out.
Knowing my fiancé had to be up for work tomorrow (or today, depending on how you count it), I set the alarm on my cell phone to 8am (about the right time for hir to get up by my best guess). And set it on hir nightstand next to hir darkened clock.
Next, I gathered my pants (it was after 2am, after all), and exited my apartment. One of the people from the apartment across the hall opened the door and said he’d called ComEd and said that he’d heard they’d have the power back by 4:30. I told him that I’d called ComEd as well and he retreated back within his apartment.
As for me, such confidences weren’t sufficient. Something in me desired more. I tried to summon the elevator, but they wouldn’t come (unsurprisingly). So, instead, I decided to try to take the stairs to the roof. Unfortunately, one staircase didn’t lead there and the other’s roof access was locked. So, instead, I headed down to the ground floor. There was one other resident there, who had hoped that the power outage hadn’t extended to the whole building. While down there, I checked that the entire block was out and let some latecomers in (the front door’s lock is electric and thus entirely useless in a power outage; at least for letting people in, for keeping them out, it’s tops). Then, I decided to explore.
I walked through some of the corridors that I imagine the building management wouldn’t prefer me to frequent, eventually finding the northern fire escape. I took this all the way to the roof, where I spent a good bit of time.
I spent most of my time on the roof talking to God, or at least trying to talk to God. He didn’t talk back that I heard.
After a while, I noticed a spotlight playing on one of the adjacent buildings. Eventually, I traced this light to a truck in the alleyway that I guessed was there to fix the power problem. No sooner had I guessed this than the power came back on.
After this point, I spent a bit more time navigating the roof (unsurprisingly, it is not a place that is set up for intuitive navigation), the proceeded down the southern fire escape. I was able to re-enter the building one level below the one in which I reside and headed back home from there. Fortunately, my fiance’s clock had a battery sufficient for the ~hour and a half outage and I simply turned off the alarm on my phone.
All this brings me back to now. I’ve compiled the events of this night, which already seem almost like a dream to me. I traversed my apartment building from bottom to top and attempted to speak to God (and left a pen sticking in a door somewhere in there). In the end, I wound up here, typing this account into my blog as the earliest morning birds chirp and as my body tries to doze off.
I think my only attempt here is to prove that this happened; that I descended and ascended my building one powerless night, and that I tried to speak to God.
I heard nothing, but still think that tonight meant something.
Maybe it did; maybe it didn’t.
In any case, goodnight.